Wednesday, October 26, 2011

When did the wading pool turns into an ocean?

I have started to think about what to do next... Maggie is getting into a routine, she's for the most part "handleable" in the mornings, Winnie is at school and Maggie will be out in the afternoon at her ABA therapy... so now the question arises - What else can Mom do to better herself and her family?

I admit, its a bit like I'm stepping out of high school and the world is opening up again, but I'm a lot older, a lot less gung-ho, but a lot more... driven. Its as though, when I was 18, I jumped into the life pool and flailed around, making lots of noise, but only getting halfway across the pool even though I put in a lot of effort. Now, it feels like I'm content to use my aged body's buoyancy to float across, with some quiet paddles in the direction I'd like to go. But the pool has turned into an ocean, and I'm not really sure what direction to take.

The downside is that I'm completely indecisive, the upside is that the world actually is my oyster. Do I want to go back to school and finish one of my degrees? Do I want to get a job? Do I want a full time job, or part time job? Do I get a job in the field I was working in, or do I want to do something completely different?

What do I want to do? The question has me baffled and thinking... a little depressed and a little optimistic... And surprisingly... free.

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