Wednesday, February 13, 2013

One long day...

Today was hard... it was the hardest day in a long time. I have visible battle wounds that I haven't seen the likes of since before Winnie was diagnosed. And it all went down at school, during the busy and visible lunch hour.

It started out not badly - Maggie did fantastic at skating. She listened so well and was simply amazing, handling everything so well. But shortly after she went back to school, she quickly ran out of steam. Her ability to cope with something bothering her, or something she wanted, fell apart.

Just after I returned home, the phone rang. Expecting to hear the voice of Maggie's teacher or the school secretary, I was surprised to hear the familiar voice of the principal instead. Very quietly, but hurriedly, she relayed the condensed version of events, and could I come and get Maggie immediately.

After I got Maggie home and calm, I could piece out the full story of what happened, but the condensed version was – Maggie punched a girl in the face, lost her lunch time outdoor play, freaked out and was currently throwing pint-sized chairs around her kindergarten room.

When I arrived at school 15 minutes later, Maggie had calmed slightly. That gain was totally lost when she saw me and realized she was going home. 4 adults, a bloody face and hand later, I drove a screaming, crying, kicking 5 year old home from school. The heartbreaking part? She was screaming to go back to school the entire ride home. All she wanted in that moment was for me to turn the car around and take her back to school, and promised me the world to make it happen. And I wanted to. Of course, I couldn't. But I wanted to.

After getting Maggie wrestled into the seat and buckled, I spoke with the resources teacher about the situation, passing it back and forth between ourselves the possible reasoning for the outburst. So far as we can tell, Maggie is under the weather, possibly from allergies that we have her scheduled to be tested for. Unfortunately, she's not even scheduled to go to the pediatrician  who orders the allergy testing, until the 25th.  I asked the resource teacher if Maggie should be pulled from school until then, and she scoffed at the idea. By the way her behaviors are escalating, the 25th just seems too far away.

On the way home, I managed to pry some sob-filled and broken answers from Maggie to fill in the pieces of what happened this afternoon.

The children were lined up for something, and a little girl in Maggie's class was in line next to her. The girl got a little rambunctious and bumped into Maggie a few times in line. Maggie couldn't take this bumping and, after tapping her a few times to no avail, she punched the girl directly in the face causing her to need an ice pack  As a consequence for punching the girl, Maggie lost her outside time at lunch. Aaand the meltdown ensued. In her mind, the girl should have been reprimanded and not her. However, she seemed somewhat contrite when I reminded her that she forgot the “Tell the teacher” step in her logical process, and that she's not allowed to lay hands on another person.

Tonight, I'm not breathing easy. My hope for tomorrow is that when I call the pediatrician  I can get Maggie in sooner, and that Maggie has love and calm for her classmates on Valentine's day. We may have lost this battle, but the war still rages.