Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A light through the stress..

Today was a shockingly good day... aside from the fact that I skipped class. It was a bad thing, its true, but it was good for my sanity. You see, I'm still going through things that my mom left... and by things I mean everything... I'm moving furniture, washing clothes, boxing things, donating things, crying, discovering and repacking everything that my mom owned.

My mom died on the 8th of November... She was my rock and she babied me completely. So much so that I actually moved back in with her so I could help her do things like open unruly pickle bottles and she could help me raise my two autistic children.

While we're still sorting through the reams and reams of paperwork, and piles and piles of things that were hers, I find I'm unable to focus on schoolwork - which is unfortunate considering I was trying to take Probability and Statistics for Engineers and Computer Scientists... Its sort of important to attend the lectures, and now I'm mostly lost.

But I feel lost in more than that. I'm lost in just about everything and the only way I can shake off the horrible feeling is to keep busy... and so I clean, or poke at my family tree and history books. I generally like video games, but I haven't been on them hardly at all since she passed. There seems to be just too much other stuff to do.

Back on the original subject of today - the girls did great! I let Maggie pick out some new recipes to try and we went down to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients that we didn't have. They picked out a few extra things as well (Some pop, a bit of candy, some fruit etc..) and they did amazing the entire time. They only got tired and wandered the tiniest little bit, but never too far. After we got all the groceries piled into the car, I took them to KFC for at reat, and they even helped me take the groceries in when we got home.

I'm shocked and pleased. My heart is full and I'm heartsore too... I wish my mom was here to see them do so well.

But for now, I'll take it minute by minute and relish in the fantastic moments or hours like we had today, thanking the Lord and the angel that is my mother for helping us through our lives.

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